Maybe when she's draped over that ball, has lost all sense of time and hiding behind her sweaty tangled hair. If she's still able to sit politely on her bed and time her own contractions, there's no rush to get that bag ready.
But it sets up inaccurate expectations for birth. I'm guessing she's only 25 weeks pregnant, too. Maybe she's clutching her bladder?Īdorable pee-stances. Ī little accurate – this is where contractions are felt. When you've learned your coping from sitcoms. The big gush makes for good TV, but confuses real women if theirs doesn't follow suit. An Assortment of Silliness.ĭid she pee? Did her water break? Did someone pour water down her pants? Rupture of Membranes (water bag breaking) CAN look like this, but more often it's a smaller amount. This woman is old enough to know that stethoscopes in the OB/GYN office aren't a thing.Įven if she is picking up heart tones with it, that baby is breech. (I like the nurse who's ready for surgery in the back. No one measures a pregnant belly like this, unless it's a game at a baby shower. Can you imagine this physical exchange with your doctor? After their appointment, they went to lunch and cuddled on the couch for the afternoon. If he's actually determining anything about the baby's size or position, she would be lying down.
Unless she has asked him for a tickle-fight.Īlso wrong. There is no point in pregnancy or labor when a doctor would have his hands on her belly like this, AND WHAT'S WITH THE STETHOSCOPE?!ĬREEEEEEPY. Aside from some bloody show that comes out through the whole labor, there's nothing to see until the very end of the pushing stage.
#NO LOOK OVER THE SHOULDER KICK MOVIE#
One of my favorite parts of bad movie births is when someone is looking between the mom's legs to tell her what to do. Is this the only prop you could afford?” (and heart tones are found low on the belly if baby is head down) Use your Doppler or your Fetoscope to listen to my baby's heart rate. Mom's face says everything: “Bitch, you have no idea what you're doing. If your doctor is doing any of these things, back away slowly. Unless she's adjusting the prosthetic belly. And only one of those is done during contractions instead of between them. ALL of those would be impeded by a thick blanket. (If a nurse has her hands on a belly like that, she's either 1] figuring out the baby's size or position, 2] adjusting the fetal heart rate monitor or 3] assessing how strong the contractions are. Triple threat: fainting mom, smirking nurse and dumb position. They all know this is a ridiculous scenario. I'm also super curious why that nurse has her hand there. This would be equally accurate if they were selling it as a “headache pain” image. Like, ever.Īnd if YOU were in this position during labor: pics or it didn't happen. I have never seen anyone in this position in pregnancy or birth.
Being on your back usually makes contractions worse. Most women HATE being on their backs in labor. You don't make cute heart-shapes with your hands when you feel them.ĭon't believe the stunned face. The contractions that change the cervix (like labor contractions!) aren't felt this high up. This pose is only acceptable if you are about to break into song. “Oh! A long work day in 1985 and this belly! It's enough to make a poor girl woozy.” “Please, someone find me my smelling salts.” Most women do not require a fainting couch. I was so entertained finding curating these, especially as I realized some similarities among them. So I thought, “Hey, let's make this a teachable moment.” Below you will find $100 worth of crappy stock photos of what birth does NOT look like. Stock photos are 90% Bullpoopy pictures of birth. This movie-scene perception is never more obvious to me than when I'm searching stock photos for a pretty picture for this website. Of course those things can happen, but they're not the norm. They anticipate a huge gush of water breaking, then immediate painful contractions and a mad-dash to the hospital. (Then we unravel some of that damage over the next 6 weeks.)Īnd what I've observed in the past 8 years of teaching is that most people come in expecting the dramatic movie scene. So we do some work the first night of unpacking what the pictures and ideas floating around in their head ARE. And even when they have, it was a few minutes at a sister's birth (or something similar). It's rare that a single person among the 12 present will have been to a birth before. The first night of my childbirth classes, I ask the couples if anyone has ever been present for a birth.
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